You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
