Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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