i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We need to rekindle our bromance
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
