I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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