saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
