okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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