Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
a search helicopter?!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
