I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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