dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
