I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
