im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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