capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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