I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My dick has a subreddit
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
