I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
accomplished twins. life is a go
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
