It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
