Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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