four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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