dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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