Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
