You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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