She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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