my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize