Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
