Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Green mimosas i think yes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize