yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
