Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
and eventually we just all took our pants off
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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