I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I made him laugh his dick is mine
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
