and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
