After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
