So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
