fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
