How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize