ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
