So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
