Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
