my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
