once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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