So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
