i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
