I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
