im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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