you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
