Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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