I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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