who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
