We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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