what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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