I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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