That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
