So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize