Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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