im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
