whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I will be naked everywhere
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
