if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
