please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
