There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
